I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
