U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
