She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
