Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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