I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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