I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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