wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
