Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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