You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
