please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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