So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
