I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
