PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
