Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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