Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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