Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
