About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
