you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
