In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I believe in your delicious
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
