My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well I just put wine in my tea
You've changed since you got that strap on
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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