do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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