So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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