who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
