woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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