White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
