i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
