He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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