Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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