At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
