He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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