he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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