I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
