If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
