I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
