Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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