He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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