he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
