Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
