Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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