Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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