you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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