I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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