don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
