why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize