I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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