why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
