I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
And the cops told us we were all naked.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Drunk is a universal language darling
im on a boat
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