O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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