one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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