Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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