What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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