lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
