I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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