hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
