I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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