You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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