I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
